Labor Day   Kribensis: So my calendar says today is some holiday called “Labor Day.”  What do we do for this one?  Increase the suffering of the surfs?  Work the slaves an extra twelve hours?  Is it some kind of national birthing holiday? Ikkairius: None of those, actually.  Although I’d be slightly amused by tens of thousands of women going into labor simultaneously.  A dark day for maternity wards everywhere, but quite the event for baby specialty stores… [Trails off in thought] Kribensis: [waves a hand in front of the ancient Bright’s face but receives no response] Labor Day? Ikkairius: [slowly returns his attention to Kribensis] Hmm? Oh, right.  Before the American work industry had unions, workers were left to the mercy of corrupt owners and board trustees.  They worked long hours in poor conditions and for meager wages.  After several years of somewhat important walk-offs, strikes, and the formation of organizations like the AFL and the K of L, all of which I won’t waste time on explaining since you’re already looking dazed and glassy-eyed, workers won some critical rights and gained a say in their work place. Kribensis:  That’s stupid.  Workers do what their superiors tell them.  The end.  No arguing or complaining.  Anyone daring to whine about his or her work in my empire was killed immediately.  It’s a very effective method.  Only rarely did we have any issues. Ikkairius: [rolls his eyes] Anyway, the day was originally used for demonstrations and parades, but has lost much of the meaning over time. Kribensis: So what do people do now? Kallixstus: [looks up from where he’s sprawled across the couch, his head in Ancelin’s lap] We have a huge barbeque, play some beach volleyball, swim, and generally relax.  Most people regard Labor Day as the close of the summer season. Kribensis:  [frowns] This sounds suspiciously like Memorial Day, only in reverse. Aki:  [glances away from the racing game he’s playing on the TV] You’re forgetting the most important thing. [Frantically jabs at the buttons on the controller]  No! No! Dammit!  How could you get me with a turtle shell when I was halfway across the board and behind a wall?! Sashi: [laughs as Aki dejectedly hands Zephyr the controller] Heat-seeking shell. Aki: [mutters] Next we’re playing Bomberman and I’m so gonna kick your ass. Kribensis:  What important thing? Ancelin: [flips a page in the most recent edition of Vogue] He means we don’t have to go to work.  Almost everyone in the country has the day off. Kribensis: [surprised] Wait, you all have jobs? Noah:  [slides his knight across the chess board and smiles wickedly at Reisu before turning to the Half-Dark] Where do you think we go everyday?  Do you think we just stand around in a room somewhere waiting for you to show up? Kribensis: [crosses his arms over his chest] No, but you should. Ikkairius:  [pours a glass of amber colored liquid from a cut crystal decanter and settles into an easy chair] Since you didn’t know anyone had a job, why don’t you accompany them to their workplaces and see what they do?  Perhaps you’ll be inspired to get a job of your own. [Raises the glass to his lips] And then perhaps I’ll get my quiet, solitary afternoons back…  Kribensis: [shrugs] What do you guys do?  If it’s cool, then maybe I’ll consider going with you. Stoer: [stirs a bit in the bright patch of sunlight that he and his twin are curled up in like a pair of cats, their bodies tangled around one another] Master, you know Lochs and I are models.  You’ve seen our pictures at the penthouse.  Kribensis:  True, and that could be interesting.  At the end of the shoots is there a big orgy with all the hot models? Lochs: [runs his fingers through Stoer’s hair] Not after every shoot. Kribensis:  Not worth it.  Next? Kimi: [glances up from the book she’s reading the room’s huge bay window] I work at the Apple Store in the mall. Kribensis:  Do you get an employee discount? Kimi: [nods] Yes, but only after you’ve worked there for three months. Kribensis:  Three months?  That’s ninety whole days.  Are they serious?  Next! Noah:  [removes Reisu’s rook from the board] I help tend the rock gardens and landscaping at the Zen Buddhist temple on Eleventh Avenue. Kribensis: [waves dismissively] Boring. Ancelin: I work at the pharmaceutical lab downtown duri— Kribensis: Boring. Ancelin:  Will you let me finish?  I work at the lab during the day.  At night I’m a dominatrix to the wealthy and elite. Kribensis: Hmm, I’ll consider the second one.  Next? Reisu: [slides her bishop toward Noah’s queen] My job is at the video game store. Kribensis:  And end up like those idiots? [He gestures at Aki, Sashi, and Zephyr] I have better things to do, like ruling an empire.  Speaking of them, what do you three do for jobs? Aki: [continues to play game and stare intently at the screen] We’re students at the University.  Goddammit, banana peels!  Are you fucking kidding me?! Sashi: [snickers] We also have that part-time thing going with Patron and Messenger. Kribensis: Part-time, full-time, it all sounds boring.  [Turns to his brother] Kallixstus, please tell me you have an interesting job? Kallixstus: [cracks one eye open and grins] Actually, I can’t tell you.  Top secret, national security related stuff. Kribensis:  What?  All I ever see you do is stuff the Incendia Seeker gives you.  Ancelin:  [marks a page of the magazine with a sticky flag, and continues reading] He works special ops for several world powers doing independent, assassin-style killings.  Although he usually ends up just killing all those involved, no matter who hired him. Kallixstus:  They’re all just so much cattle. Kribensis: It just sounds like so much doing. Kallixstus: [gives a half shrug and settles deeper into his sister’s lap] Maybe it’s more of a hobby than an actual job. Kribensis:  Ikkairius what do you do? Ikkairius: [takes a sip of the liquor and glares at the Fox and Rabbit, who are seated at the table making fairies out of wire, beads and yarn] Why looking after all of you is my job.  It’s what I live to do.  I simply can’t imagine ever doing anything else.  Kribensis:  [shifts his attention to the table] Do you two have jobs? The Rabbit: Of course, we create, manipulate, and fully execute the lives and deaths of twenty-nine distinct individuals.  We decide what they do, how they do it, and what kind of physical or emotional damage those actions will entail.  We dictate every aspect of their very existence. The Fox:  In short, we are the Gods of this universe.  Live in terror of our almighty wrath. Kribensis:  [looks confused] Um, okay…  Zephyr, you’re the only one left.  Zephyr: [leans back in the beanbag chair] I don’t actually have a job. Kribensis:  Why not?  Everyone else has some kind of mundane drudgery.  How’d you get away with unemployment? Zephyr:  [shrugs] Technically, I’m not a Selestarri adult.  Therefore, I’m exempt from work and the Eyrie pays all my bills, even though I’m a Streaked. Kribensis:  What do you do all day? Zephyr: Oh, sometimes I hang out at the arcade, or a coffee shop, or go down to the skate park with my board.  You know, whatever. Kribensis:  [glances around at the rest of cast] Aside from Zephyr, you all have really boring jobs.  I don’t want to do any of them. Aki:  Yes, the horrible truth is that we’re chemists, retail workers, and college students.  What did you think we all were?  Porn stars? Sex therapists? Prostitutes? Hedonists?  Kribensis:  [a bit dejectedly] Well, yes… Ikkairius:  [places the empty glass on the table and stands up] Sorry to disappoint, but we don’t have fabulous lives in the sex industry.  Ancelin’s work as a dominatrix the sole exception, perhaps.  Now, we’re supposed to meet everyone else at the beach, and if we don’t leave now we’ll be late. [The ancient Selestarri begins directing the others, who have all morphed into their child forms, as to what supplies are needed for the barbeque. In a short amount of time everything is packed and everyone files out of the house behind Ikkairius except Kallixstus, Zephyr, Sashi, and Kribensis.] Kallixstus:  There’s one thing we forgot to tell you about Labor Day, Krib. Zephyr:  It’s the most important thing, so I’m not sure how we could have forgotten.  We can’t actually have a real labor day without it. Kribensis:  What is it? Kallixstus:  [very serious] It’s the song that officially begins the barbeque.  If we don’t sing it, we forfeit our day off. [At the table the Fox and Rabbit begin to laugh] Kribensis: What do they think is so funny? Sashi:  You know them; they laugh at the most random things.  Just ignore them and concentrate on the song. Zephyr:  It’s really easy to learn, you’ll have it down by the time we get to the beach.  However, as soon as we get there, you have to climb on top of the lifeguard tower and immediately begin to sing. Sashi:  Since it’s your first Labor Day, you have to start the official song, but everyone will join in on the second verse.  The important thing is not to stop, even if everyone is staring. Kallixstus:  Really, no one is supposed to know this song, because the government doesn’t want us to have a day off, but we’re going to teach it to you so that no one is angry with you for losing their holiday. Kribensis:  I thought you said you were supposed to teach it to me earlier, when everyone was here, but forgot. Kallixstus:  What I said isn’t important.  What’s important is the song, and that you know it and can sing it by heart. Sashi:  Really, this is the most important part of the day. Kribensis:  Okay, teach me the song. Zephyr:  And the dance. Kribensis:  There’s a dance, too? Zephyr:  Just some hand gestures, some swaying back and forth, a little bootie shaking.  [Shrugs] It’s nothing difficult, really. Sashi:  But still critically important. Kribensis: [nods] [Kallixstus, Sashi, and Zephyr share a very serious and determined glance before beginning to sing.] The Three Selestarri:  Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener, for that is what I truly want to be…   ~ BACK~ All content contained on this site is (C) 2001-2008 by Bounce and Angsty-os (all rights reserved) Please do not take, steal, link or borrow anything on this site without written permission from Bounce (Bunny Writer - Resin Fox)